We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
