I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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