I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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