even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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