They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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