just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is the high leading the old right now
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
