I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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