So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
