rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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