Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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