were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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