He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize