you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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