Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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