You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
