I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
