Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
