i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
