i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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