I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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