I met the friendliest cop last night
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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