My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
