if only i could text you this smell
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
