I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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