You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize