what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
handjob tips. give me some.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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