nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
