i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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