just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
