He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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