We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
