so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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