dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
