my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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