Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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