yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
