doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
