hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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