So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
