C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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