that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
