Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
