Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
