Say something about gay babies.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
