I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
