The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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