I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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