I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
