East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
