Need sex. Gaining weight.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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