thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
