its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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