he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got inside last night via doggy door
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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