I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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