You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
tell your sister to shave her snatch
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
