I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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