Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
