I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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