if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
