And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
