You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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