OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
